At the Grave You Call Your Own
by DragonWolfStar
Summary: She didn't know that it was impossible, only that it was there. Rukia watches Ichigo speak to the dead. Post-Aizen, Pre-Lost Substitute arc. IchiSenna, hint of IchiRuki


A/N: Not exactly my favorite pairing, though I do think it's cute, and the plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. So here you are. Enjoy!

At the Grave You Call Your Own

Rukia watched apprehensively as Ichigo slowly walked to a family grave, brushing long fingers gently over faded stone. It was her job now, to watch over and protect him while he couldn't do anything for himself. She did. She slaughtered any hollow that dared come close, chased away negative reiatsu that he could no longer feel but she could.

But she couldn't protect him from himself.

His melancholic attitude had startled her when she'd first seen it appear a couple of days prior. It was autumn; June 16th was months away and the only other time she'd seen him this uncomfortably _welcoming_ was the anniversary of his mother's death. So who was he mourning?

Ichigo sighed, the sound startlingly loud in the otherwise silent cemetery. Almost casually, he dropped into a sitting position before the headstone. Rukia edged closer, hating the thought that she might be betraying his trust by indulging her curiosity, but wanting to know the cause of his upset even more, especially now that she couldn't ask.

"I never realized it at the time," he murmured, Rukia starting in surprise. She'd almost thought he was talking to her; he certainly hadn't done this at his mother's grave. Especially not after he'd found out about Soul Society. "But lately, I've had a lot of time to think about it… when remembering's the only thing I can do anyway, I mean."

There was silence for a long moment before he continued. "But I guess that's more than enough for you, isn't it? When I'm not supposed to remember you at all…"

Despite the fact that he couldn't hear her anyway, Rukia didn't dare make a sound. She suddenly felt that she was an intruder here, watching something so very, very private. Because Ichigo would never say these kinds of things aloud where people could hear.

"It doesn't feel like it, though." The redhead leaned back, casual but for the subtle lines of tension along his lean frame. An intense look of grief flashed across his face, vanishing almost before Rukia had seen it. She shifted uncomfortably, nearly wishing for her hollow detector to go off simply to escape the atmosphere.

"I wish… I wish I'd realized it then, when I could have told you. You died for me, and I never…" he trailed off, brown eyes closing wearily. Rukia inhaled sharply. _So that was why_.

"_You died for me…"_ How had she never known? How could she have missed someone so important in Ichigo's life? _When…?_

_He would have told me… right?_

But even Tatsuki hadn't known.

Pensive chocolate eyes opened, hardening in determination. The expression was startlingly familiar. Rukia hadn't seen it since Hueco Mundo, and she felt a pang, knowing it was because of Soul Society that it was mostly gone.

"I never told you that I loved you."

The petite shinigami stilled in shock. She'd heard Ichigo say 'I love you' before. Only ever to his sisters, and only twice that she could recall. But never, _never_ in the soft, gentle tones he was using now. A fleeting smile crossed his features, one of the only genuine ones she'd ever seen.

Whoever she had been, Ichigo had loved her deeply.

"Che, you'd probably laugh at me for acting like such a sap," he said, more loudly this time. He stood abruptly, brushing nonexistent dirt off of his jeans and stuffing his hands in his pockets. His mood seemed to have turned on a dime, body language louder and brasher than it had been for days, scowl firmly in place. Rukia almost sagged in relief. This was more familiar. This was the Ichigo she knew.

It didn't last long.

His eyes softened again, a gentle look that he only ever showed Yuzu or possibly Orihime when they were upset. "I'll see you next year… Senna."

On impulse Rukia snuck a glance at the grave. It seemed far too ordinary, far too plain for someone that Ichigo held in such high regard.

The name 'Senna' wasn't there.

Blinking, Rukia glanced at the headstone, then back at the redhead. His tiny smile had long since faded, shoulders slumped ever so slightly. She felt her own gaze soften, wishing for a moment to go to Soul Society and find this girl, so she could put that smile back on his face.

She wished for a moment that he could see her again, so that she could do the same.


End file.
